All Help is Long Gone

No sign of the thin bastard lately... Good. Gives me time to think of a plan. I couldn't get in touch with either Kruger or Carlos, so... I don't know if I'm the only one dealing with this. It probably isn't smart to think I'm special or anything, so... Maybe they're... Possibly stuck like I was? In that place? I have no way of knowing, but what about you Mr Follower? "Morningstar?" You followed pretty quick, and your profile is hidden from viewing. So should I be guessing you were the asshole who posted on my account with that "Little Fly" shit?

Guess that confirms that Slender Man is working with actual people?

Speaking of the tall fucker, don't think I haven't seen him watching me from outside. Keeping his distance this time, among the trees, which suits me fine. I am not gonna let him get me again. What the fuck does he even want with me? Why the hell does he stalk anyone? It makes no fucking sense. Everything that is alive, needs something, so it... Probably stands to reason that Slender Man needs something too... Which is... Why he stalks people? Maybe he gets something from it? The few things I've read so far don't tell me anything about what he could possibly be after. Just that... Most people don't get away from him.

Well, if no one else has, I intend to be the first, with Carlos, Kruger and any of those others I can find. I am not going down without a fight. 

Mom and Dad can tell something is wrong. They asked, but I didn't tell them. Not like they would believe me, right? They'll drop the questions. They don't care enough to keep asking, no matter what Judge advises them to do. So, that mean I am on my own right now... Can't find a damn trace of anyone dealing with the same shit. Lots of links mentioning it, but most of them lead to missing or dead blogs and websites. I need to find active blogs. Active help. It can't just be me, us, that is dealing with this fuckery.

Starting to sleep with a knife under my pillow. Not letting him take me again. Not alive.  

I'M OUT!

I'm out. I'm fucking out. I don't know where the FUCK I was, but I got out somehow! Oh Christ thank you, God thank you. It feels like I haven't seen the goddamn sun in a week! Mom and Dad are fine too... They were apparently wondering where I went. The last they saw of me was when I was about to fall asleep. I... Might have even thought it was a dream, or something, if not for those posts. I wrote them and posted them all in the span of a minute, according to this... That's impossible. But it happened. So that was real, it was all real...

Before I got out, things had gotten bad. The Static was fading and the light with it. I was so unimaginably thirsty... I've never been so thirsty. But I was too scared to leave the room. There was this constant sound of movement in the halls... It was Him, it had to be. I had seen him inside before. He was just standing there, barely illuminated by the television light. God... How could I have thought that was a mask, and a costume... I guess... Part of me didn't. The alternative, this, it's too horrible for me to have ever considered without absolute proof. That THING is not human, it isn't even remotely human. I don't care how fancy its clothes are, if those clothes really are clothes in the first place.

I got very desperate in there... The thirst was just overwhelming. So I opened my door and began to sneak to the kitchen. At first I saw no sign of Him, but I could still hear this vague shuffling around. It was slow and heavy, but... It had to be Him. I don't... Know if He knew I was there. But I crawled into the kitchen without being blocked off. None of the sinks worked, and when I opened the fridge, there was nothing but... Fucking whiskey. Desperate times, though, and I tried to drink from that poison. Of course, as soon as it entered my mouth I knew something was wrong. I couldn't describe the taste, but it was enough to make me throw up all over the floor. I remember everything just... Spinning, and I fell down into my own vomit. When I woke up, I was in my bed, staring outside at sunlight streaming through the trees. It was five days into a new year.

It isn't over yet, though... That much is obvious. That THING exists... And it is stalking me. And it... Probably is stalking Kruger, Carlos and those others who watched MarbleHornets with us. Maybe it has stalked others too? Hell... Is MarbleHornets real? I don't even know anymore... I need help, and bad. Maybe having this blog be public is not a bad idea after all.   

Stalker

He was outside my window this morning. That fucker dressed like the Slender Man. How the fuck did he find where I live? Why the fuck was he here?

I'm still tired and weak, even if the medicine is helping the migraines. I was laying in bed, drifting between dreams and reality, when I noticed that vaguely human shaped silhouette among the trees in the dim morning light. The proportions were wrong, and there was no face, no eyes, no hair. He was just standing there, all limp and boneless, staring in at me. All I could do was yell for Mom and Dad... But when they got to my room, he was gone without a trace.

I told them the truth, of course. Some wacko in a Halloween costume was standing at my window. I'm really wondering now... Did he have something to do with Kase's death? It would explain the weird questions he asked last time... I saw him alive. But why the hell is he dressed up like Slender Man? Only a few people were even conscious while we were watching MarbleHornets, and most of them were complete strangers. So... If it's one of them, why the fuck would they be stalking me? To kill me? Assuming they did kill Kase? Assuming Kase was even the target, and not the Security Officer... Ah... Fuck.

We called the police, but what was I going to tell them? A 9 ft faceless man in a suit was at my window? All I could tell them was "Bald, wearing a business suit and tall." But it is a costume. It has got to be a costume. So that information isn't entirely useful... So. Fuck. I don't know what to do.

Drawing. Drawing makes me feel better.  

Blood Disease

Well, something is obviously wrong with me, but the doctor has no fucking clue what it is. Doesn't help, of course, that we've had to switch from our longtime family Doctor to a new one due to the goddamn Obamacare crap. This new Doctor, Albion, has my records, but doesn't exactly know them all too well. He had some theories as to where the migraines, fever, vomit and coughing came from, but he had no explanation for the sleep walking. Of course, that wasn't the only thing that apparently made sense. They took some blood from me, and I remember the nurse staring at it all wide eyed and taking it to Albion. When he came back, he told me there was something in my blood that he couldn't identify, and that he wanted to send it out for someone to look at.

Isn't this just wonderful? I have some kind of blood disease, or something. In the meantime, Albion prescribed some strong painkillers for the Migraines, but didn't have anything else helpful for the coughing, or the fever and vomit, if they come back. So, we'll have to see what happens now. Break is far from over.

Sleep Walking

I went to bed in my room, in my bed, under my covers, with a miserable headache and a minor fever. I woke up, in the clearing in the middle of the woods, freezing my ass off. What the ever loving fuck is wrong with me?

I'm lucky I only have a few cuts and bruises... Jesus. I didn't even think sleep walking was a real thing. Mom and Dad didn't even hear me leave... How the hell did I even make it to the clearing like this? I might have gotten lost if I didn't recognize it as the same clearing that had one of Mom and Dad's Whiskey half empty whiskey bottles near a tree. Though... The tree had fallen since last time I was here, apparently.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me? Maybe... I might be worse off than I thought? Is it related to this sickness? Does sleep walking have anything to do with my mental state? I'm just so tired... I had to write this, I don't... Know why I had to, but I don't think I can do anything else. I just feel so weak. My head won't stop pounding. Everything is just so draining... I am going back to bed. But first I'm gonna lock my door and windows, just to be safe.  

Solstice

Today fucking sucked. I woke up in the middle of the night with a random fever, coughing my head off. Goddamn I haven't felt this bad in a long time... The entire day, I have had a headache, I've been coughing and I have had no energy to do much of anything except stare out the window into the woods and tape my drawings onto the wall. I can't even keep food down properly...

Fuck it. This is the shortest day of the year, and the longest night. Good enough reason to go to sleep early.

Home

Back home again. Still no snow. Probably won't be any snow on Christmas either. Someday... I will have a white Christmas. It probably won't be nearly as magical as I think it'll be, but it has always been something I wanted to see. Just no friggen point in having a winter without snow. The dead trees outside are depressing as hell. It is quiet though, out there, and that is something some people find enjoyable, I guess. The woods are never as quiet as they are during winter. I know people find it to be peaceful, serene and wonderful to be alone with nothing but the music of their own thoughts. To me, though, it just seems like I'm walking through a graveyard, and my thoughts become anything but peaceful and quiet.

Mom and Dad heard what happened at the college. They asked me about it, but... It looked pretty obvious that they only bothered because that is what parents should do. It isn't like they really knew what to say, after all. But that's the way with them. Anything goes wrong and all they can respond with is a simple "That sucks" and move on. They have never had any solutions to a problem, and don't seem to have ever even considered actively trying to comfort me. Despinos told me... That I probably crave the comfort and attention that they never gave me. I guess that makes sense, but I look around and see so many others that resent the attention their parents give them. Call it "Smothering." So am I really missing all that much?

Judge came by as well. Obviously he found out about the death, and was checking on me. I'm fine. I'm just fine. He didn't press the subject either, which I am thankful for. Pointless to talk about it at this point. Besides, I don't want to make him worry. He has other things he could be focusing on, much more important than my problems. I'm fine.