Had a session with Dr. Despinos again today. In regards to a...
Failed suicide attempt. I had to get my stomach pumped due to downing
a bottle of sleeping pills. We discussed what happened in that...
Place. I called it a nightmare, obviously. But I gotta confess, I
left something out in the last post. A big part. For me, maybe the
most important part of all, for my entire life.
How does He know these things? This isn't... It wasn't something I
talk about. I thought I had already said enough, but the truth is...
Until the day I die, nothing I say or do will ever make it go away,
or change what was done. What I did. Seeing that blood slowly flowing
down the creek... Seeing my old car again, wrapped around that tree.
Seeing that... Mutilated husk, sitting in that seat, shredded by
glass, metal and bark. It was the same as it was in my nightmares,
exactly how I remember him from that night... And then there was that
tree. That creek carried his blood deep into its maw, feeding an
atrocity. A godless creation that sprouted from the deepest depths of
the furthest reaches of madness and evil themselves, with its weeping
face oozing the blood of its rotting "fruits" dangling
lifelessly from its leafless limbs.
One day, I know, I will join them there.
But it won't be now. I will not die now, I will not die alone, and I
will be the last of us to die young, if it comes to that. I
swear it on Alec's grave.
